1. |
Monday Feeling
03:26
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Time stopped a couple Mondays ago
And now that feeling seems to be all that I know
It only widens, never closing in
It is an aging, de-elasticized skin
And nothing that I do with my hands can make it better
Nothing that I do with my mouth can make it better
It’s been a long year, this spring that we’re in
It’s such a heavy feeling being weightless
I’m going backwards to the start of it
It always hurts to go back to the start of it
Pressing the bruise ‘til it pops like a zit
Tearing through seams just to see if they’ll rip
I need a time machine but I don’t believe
I need a time machine but I cannot see (where I’d go)
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2. |
Loose Cannon Club
02:20
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I’m not feeling too good even though I know I’m all right
There’s a silent scream that’s stuck in my mouth
And it’s trying to get out, it’s stuck in my mouth
Why walk in the park when I know it’s not safe at night?
I just want to test it all out for myself, see if everyone’s right
If I think anymore, my brain will be juice
It’s eating itself from repeating itself
It’s all coming out my ears, nothing’s going in
Seismic summer’s getting under my skin
Lying awake with a rattled skeleton, praying that I won’t need a radio again
There’s a silent scream that’s stuck in my mouth
And it’s trying to get out, it’s trying to get out
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3. |
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What do you want, what do you want, what do you want?
You wake up in the morning feeling it all, feeling it all
The knife’s still at your throat--you think that you may like it
Think you should walk away but you’ll double down
(Think I’m gonna do it)
Who do you want, who do you want, who do you want?
It seems it should be easy
Promise of the big house, money, and the neighbors on the weekends
It’s making less sense now that you’re talking it through...
It could be you
Chasing her down in a brand new city
Running around in a brand new city
Laying her down in a brand new city
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4. |
Naked Minimum
03:02
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The bus is especially ugly today
I wish I could fly
This morning there was blood in the bowl again
It’s been a long time since it was white
I’ve grown used to all these little inconveniences
I watch them happen from the side
One day I’ll have a car and my body will work
Say it in the mirror three times
Stuck behind slow walkers in the New York streets
I stick my elbows out and I feel like
I’m stuck somewhere between
Ten centuries and days shy of thirteen
I’m perpetually singing the same song
But it’s not gonna change until the day
Something better seems to come along
I’ll believe it when I see it
Promises are white noise
And yet it’s still alarming how things fall apart
Never thought that I would melt in your mouth
Like cotton candy made of sand
I just can't unfeel it
The damage is done, now I’m left with the mess
While you fuck off to the deep midwest
To blow the dust off a man who’s already dead
I’m just waiting on the naked minimum
I’ll be waiting til I’m naked
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5. |
Mirror Mirror
02:23
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Don’t wanna be your last pick
Any mention and I fall into a black hole
Need attention but I don’t wanna be seen on the street
It’s a complicated feeling
Playing happy for the voices in my own head
Buzzing loudly as I open and close screen after screen
Mirror, mirror in my hand
When did I get so god damned
Swallowed up by the thing looking back
Hollow hands fired off by a track
I’m hurting my own feelings
Walk around and try to take a little edge off
Kick around the little pieces of trash left on the street
I’m losing at my own game
Moving backwards in a full retrograde
Anxious circles, everybody I meet sees right through me
Mirror, mirror in my hand
When did I get so god damned
Swallowed up by the thing looking back
Hollow hands fired off by a track
Mirror, mirror in my hand
When did I get so god damned
Swallowed up by the thing looking back at me
Hollow hands fired off by a track
I don’t recognize all the things coming out of me
Hollow hands fired off by a track
Swallowed up by the thing looking back
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6. |
Do Your Worst
03:44
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It fills me up
I want it bad
Make a little wish on an eyelash, send it away
Breathe a little bit through the feeling, call it a day
It eats me up
It breathes me in
Pace a little bit through the hallway, send it away
Make a little list of the things that make me okay
Easy enough to say
It’s a little harder when it’s hotter in my house than in my brain
Summertime
Do your worst
Underneath the moon, throw my body into the pool
Sink a little bit into quiet, softness, and cool
Push it out
Take it back
Take a little time to return myself to the earth
Put a little faith in the season of its rebirth
Easy enough to say
It’s a little harder when it’s hotter in my house than in my brain
There will come a day
When the bird songs of the morning do not bring the dread and longing out to play
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7. |
Echo Park Vampire
03:02
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Late night sweetheart, wanna kiss you so hard
You make me feel like I’m a vampire in the dark
Pick me up in your car, take me anywhere with you
My blood runs cold when you leave--it’s a bad sign
Outside of the show in the street, can’t hide, think I might cry
Gonna tell her that it’s true that I love her now
I always think I did, some way somehow
I wanna be the girl that wakes up next to you
I’m ready for the day I wake up next to you
I’ll buy another drink, keep the sun off of our skin
‘Cause when you look at me like that, there’s no way I could be leaving
Unless I’m leaving here with you, ‘cause I love you now
I always think I did some way, somehow
I wanna be the girl that wakes up next to you
I’m ready for the day I wake up next to you
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8. |
Florida
03:44
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I can feel it coming
Oh, god, I feel it coming
I feel the pressure dropping
It’s coming with no warning
From silence into screaming
Awoken from my sleeping
Fracturing into a million little pieces
Closing tunnel vision
Body in submission
Howling out into the shrinking Harvest Moon
Falling in slow motion
Desert to the ocean
Summer into autumn
Last time that I saw them
Everybody dies in Florida eventually
Planes and Disney life insurance policies
A golf cart and a condo in a village by the sea
Kiss the moon goodbye, it’s nearly morning
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9. |
The Hungry Body
02:08
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Pour the coffee, watch the wind blow the leaves on the trees
Hear the birds sing louder than the ghosts of freeways now haunting the spring
Whispering breeze
Touch the blades of grass and drink in the life to my skin
It all goes on
Every pore a window into the wet of my heart
It’s gutting me
I’m losing sleep
I’m spilling out of me
Will somebody touch me please?
Absorb me completely
This hungry body
Longing for the time of longing when longing could mean something could be
I’m the pacing widow waiting for something that’s dead to come back from sea
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10. |
Underground
02:46
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I’m sleeping half my life away
And every dream’s a black hole
I’m losing track of days
They’re all the same
And when I lie awake, I pray it’s just a dream to shake
Is this how it is now?
We all live underground
The poets couldn’t dream this up
It’s creeping up, the deepest dark I’ve ever seen
No wolf of sleep
The heavy air is out for blood
Don’t open up, even to breathe
No fever dream
Is this how it is now?
We all live underground
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11. |
Typhoid Mary
03:16
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Leave it alone
Put it down
Close up the windows
Block out the sound
Take off my clothing
Feel the air
Peel off my own skin
It’s still there
(It’s still there)
I’m burning
I mortify me
Stomach turning
I am a disease
You’re gonna catch me if I have my way
I’m terminal once you hear my name
The sound of my own voice rings in my ears
I’ll never be clean from how you all hear it
I’m quarantined, but I think it’s too late
The wind is blowing to give you all a taste
It’s what you wanted, me on my own
They didn’t tell you where I’d go
The sound of my own voice rings in my ears
I’ll never be clean from how you all hear it
Crawling with power I never wanted
Lethal mouth and lethal body
Typhoid Mary came and got me
Typhoid Mary, do you still want me?
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Erin Anne Los Angeles, California
writing songs and stories about them
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