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Tough Love

by Erin Anne

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lifeatpaddyspub a beautiful record that makes me feel emotions i didn’t even know i had. erin takes you through a heartbreaking yet hopeful journey of self-discovery. very thankful to have found this album during some of the roughest few months of my life. thank u for the relatable tunes, erin <3 Favorite track: Plasticized.
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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Single sleeve jacket, pressed on coke-bottle green vinyl.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Tough Love via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
I don't have any idea how to do this I've watched my whole life with a wide open mouth And I feel so much pain when I see all the people I love In positions they can't figure out And the truth is that some never will By no fault of their own, 'cause the world's built to kill them And I'll never understand why The Silver Lake yogis are all on their high horse Preaching compassion while others don't eat And it's no different out there in Maine where the real estate market Is pushing families to the street My dad says the economy's good But I think that we're speaking a different language What is the rent like in hell
2.
It is not about strength in numbers or size It has nothing to do with volume It is all about surprise It is knowing you are going to be underestimated by the world And punishing them for those very thoughts I play for me I play for all the people who I've tried to be And all the selves I killed when I was just thirteen And I prayed in bed at night, oh She's out there somewhere I know she's out there somewhere And I'll find her if it kills me I know she's out there somewhere I know she's out there somewhere I know she's out there somewhere And I'll find her if it kills me I know she's out there somewhere And it just might Kill me Isn't it funny how Our bodies come to life just to destroy themselves And even faster once they do employ themselves And they lay in bed at night Thinking wistfully about the stars that used to fill their eyes It's the shame of a secret dream I thought wanting things was so obscene A paralyzing intimacy With the ghosts all felt, but never seen, oh She's out there somewhere I know she's out there somewhere She's out there somewhere I know she's out there somewhere I know she's out there somewhere I know she's out there somewhere And I'll find her if it kills me I know she's out there somewhere I know she's out there somewhere I know she's out there somewhere And I'll find her if it kills me I know she's out there somewhere And it just might Kill me, kill me And it just might Kill me, kill me Kill me
3.
Starting to worry winter just won't come My body wasn't made for all this sun It's just too easy to leave my house I need excuses not to go out I've stopped counting out the days of the week There's no need when I've got nowhere to be I hide pathetic words in poppy melodies Every day is the same and it's making me bitter Won't have to shower if I go to sleep There are no standards when I'm in my sheets I'll save some money if I don't eat At the very worst I'll be a little weak I just want to be at home where I will be left alone And nobody will know that I've let myself go Don't worry 'bout me, I'm fine It's just a little after my bedtime Drank too much coffee so I'll have some wine Still working hard to try to get it right I'll see you in the morning when I've had my nine I'm a growing boy I'm a little bit tired
4.
Call it tough love, but I think you're mean I don't think it's funny how you talk to me If I told your mother, I don't think she'd be happy Her little boy's been naughty Where you think you're going? I'm not done yet here Every time I talk, you start to disappear Yeah, I'd rather be doing anything else But I won't have you leave thinking I don't respect myself Who gave you the right to be a little bitch Everything you say is screaming "narcissist" I've tried to be an empathetic person But the gloves have come off, and I wish you the worst, man I want to go home Before I commit a crime Oh, would you stop it, would you Let me keep my mind
5.
Gaslighter 03:03
I think last night I dreamed of you You came in through my window And I said, "What are you doing here?" And you said I should know But of course I didn't know You know, I've never really known what you want Violent memories come back for me Louder when the sun's down I could hear you from across town All the ghosts that wait for me In Maine where nights are so long I still don't know what I did wrong Oh, I still don't know what I did wrong Can I kill you with a song In the morning, I wake up between ages I feel so old, I am sweating, I feel so cold When I die, will you still be Waiting there to spite me I've got nothing left inside me Oh, I still don't know what I did wrong Can I kill you with a song Can I kill you with a song
6.
Wrong Stuff 03:35
I can't remember when I became so mean It isn't acid reflux, it's gasoline Poured into a car battery It's the wrong stuff I'm sick of being hungry but I am hungry to be sick What to make of this Hope you'll get all my hidden messages I wrote this song for you and Told you my good news But it's not enough 'Cause it's the wrong stuff We've spent our lives speaking in exquisite corpses Choking on the subtext What if I took some glue to join us back together at the stomach Then would you feel me where my skin is soft But it's the wrong stuff I love you Will you hold me I love you Will you hold me I love you Will you hold me I love you Will you hold me I love you Will you hold me
7.
Life Soup 02:49
I open my mouth, choke down the life soup It's cold 'cause I left it sitting in the kitchen While I cried in the bathroom and still left the truth Alone in the microwave I wish that I could be brave I look in the mirror and all I can see Is the monster I met last night in my dream She had my face, and she had my name Sucked the air from the room just the same My throat is a trash chute My tongue's rotten fruit Breathing in flies all looking for food Expire or aspirate Why must I choose Either way someone here's gonna lose I don't wanna eat I don't wanna eat I don't wanna eat I don't wanna eat I don't wanna eat I don't wanna eat I don't wanna eat I don't wanna eat I don't wanna eat I don't wanna eat I don't wanna I hold my nose, I close my eyes I am afraid of the taste Of all the dead things that I have to swallow To become okay The spit's so acidic, it's burning through my brain I am melting down my drain
8.
Seventeen 04:16
Shoving raw kale in my mouth I won't pass out I won't pass out I'm seeing stars in the daylight Something is not right Something is not right My body moves In slow motion I'm seventeen Still afraid of the ocean Again The devil, he lives in me I want to be free Want to be free A detox, a cup of tea I'll run 'til I'm weary At home lying on the floor How long must this go for I'm seventeen again Mom, I am feeling so sick I was born like this Made myself like this Take me back home where I'm hungry I am my body I'm not my body I'm playing dead 'Cause I don't have the language To show you yet Why my energy's faded My tank's gone from empty to full But there is still a hole Between my head and my body It opens and closes without me Still makes me feel seventeen
9.
Plasticized 03:10
I try to give you milk and honey Only dust and flies come out Icky glitter on my eyes A garbage pile inside my mouth I am too quiet to be human And too still to be alive I am not a thing of nature Just an old robot inside And I remember I'm a body That was not taught to be touched And as the walls close in I think about how hard I am to love Not because I am unworthy Because I point a gun At the people who believe in me And follow when I run God didn't make me to be touched She meant me to be cold She meant me to be crushed There's a ball pit in my stomach Where there should be butterflies But I've learned how I can kill them Now they've all been plasticized And they conceal the clowns I swallowed In my sleep when I was four If I cry I will release them I won't have control no more I want to live with tenderness I'm gonna heal my wounds so I can live to hurt her less I want to live with tenderness I'm gonna heal my wounds so I can live to hurt her less I want to live with tenderness I'm gonna heal my wounds so I can live to hurt her less I want to live with tenderness I'm gonna heal my wounds so I can live to hurt her less
10.
I hope I die holding hands with the girl that I love In a house that we both can afford And we're both not so old that our bodies are broken But old enough that we've made peace with the world I don't think that's too much to ask And I hope I'm not coming across as dramatic I just know that I can't be sure

about

The debut album from Erin Anne, Tough Love is an unruly yet elegant collage of all the elements that make up her musical vocabulary: wildly shredded riffs and lo-fi acoustic ramblings, punk-rock energy and folky austerity, new-wave whimsy and high-flown pop theatrics. With a narrative voice at turns thoughtful and rebellious, confrontational and shy, the L.A.-based singer/songwriter spins her lyrics from such divergent sources as formative queer texts and her own moon-phase-specific dream journal, ultimately presenting a body of work that bravely documents the slow and strange process of becoming yourself.

credits

released September 23, 2019

Produced by Erin A. Fitzpatrick
Co-Produced + Mixed by Alex Rogers
Mastered by Sarah Register

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Erin Anne Los Angeles, California

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